


You Killed Big Bird

by starrynightfantasies



Category: Loki - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, Big Bird - Freeform, Confused Loki, Did I mention I'm sorry, Ehehehe..., Gen, I'm Sorry, Loki made me do it, Loki's first Thanksgiving, Loki's not sorry, Muses have all the power, Oscar the Grouch - Freeform, Post-Avengers (2012), Sesame Street, Stucky - Freeform, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner, This Is STUPID, muppets - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:17:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8638411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrynightfantasies/pseuds/starrynightfantasies
Summary: Loki makes a joke about the Thanksgiving turkey, and it leads to a confession from Dr. Banner, and a new-ish relationship. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!





	

"But I'm starving!"

"Thor, you are  _not!_ You have to wait for everyone else. Besides, the stuffing isn't done, the potatoes aren't mashed, and the pies are still baking," Natasha protested as Thor attempted to talk her out of a turkey leg. "Now get in there and set this turkey on the table. And do  _not_ eat any of it, or I will know and you will  _pay_." 

Thor shuddered mockingly and did as he was told, carefully setting the platter in the center of the table and placing silverware on each placemat. Natasha followed him out of the kitchen to make sure he did what she asked, and he gave her a nod when he was finished. 

Just then, Loki rounded the corner, took one glance at the baked turkey on the table- it's legs still tied up, juices dribbling out onto the serving plate- and appeared utterly horrified. 

" _Norns!_ Did  _Earth's Mightiest Heroes,"_ he paused to give them his most scathing snark face, "go out and take down the infamous Big Bird last night? I hear he's been causing quite the ruckus down on...oh Hel...not Poppy Seed Lane...." 

" _Sesame Street!_ " Everyone yelled at once. 

Loki held his hands up in mock surrender. "Alright. Don't everyone get so excited. But really...what is that? I'm not eating some irradiated beast from Stark's laboratory."

Steve, who had been standing nearby scowling at Loki- he hadn't been too happy with the god after Loki had meddled with his mind a few months prior- finally asked the question everyone wanted answered. "Wait just a minute. How do you know about Big Bird? And by the way, that," he pointed at the offending  _beast_ on the table, "is a turkey. They're delicious. And Natasha has been cooking that thing all night, so you had  _better_ be thankful. That's what we are here for on  _Thanksgiving_ , Loki. We are thankful. For friends, family,  _food_..." 

Evidently, Loki hadn't heard one word of Steve's speech because the next words out of his mouth were; "No, no Capsicle. How do  _you_ know about Big Bird? You are so far behind, you still can't properly use the telephone." 

"Steve knows about Big Bird because he likes to watch cartoons- says they soothe him or some shit," Fury mocked as he strolled out of the elevator. "Dr. Banner here can tell you all why Loki knows _all_ about the Sesame Street characters...  _and_ most of the Muppets." 

As if he had dropped a hand grenade, Fury sped toward his office in the tower, shutting the door and locking it without another word. Apparently, none of the rest of the team was afraid of the bomb because they ran toward the conversation like ants to a child's dripping ice cream cone. Everyone except Bruce.

"Come _on_ , Bruce!" Nat hollered. "You  _have_ to tell us the story. Loki is in here all clammed up as usual." 

And he was. Loki looked like he could go on a murderous rampage at any second, and Banner knew why.

"It's not that big of a deal, guys. I, well... you know how Loki is so cooperative with me, working with me in the lab?"

The entire team- Nat, Steve, Bucky, Tony, and even Thor were all leaning in closer so they wouldn't miss a single word of what Bruce had to say, but Loki was still brooding.

"Well, when he was locked in his...cell," Loki interrupted- " _cage_ ," and Bruce gave him a sympathetic half-smile, but continued on, "after he was captured? I uh, I may have done a few small tests," Loki interrupted again, " _just say experiments,_ " Bruce sighed, "Okay, okay. Experiments. To see what kinds of things set him off. I showed him various characters...made him watch videos...all through the glass of course." 

Thor started to chuckle, and Loki shot him a glare that could melt the paint off of the walls.

"I heard Elmo _really_ fucked his world up! Had to get the security team in there," Fury yelled from the safety of his office. 

 _"Jeez_ ," Bruce muttered, covering his face with his hands. 

Nat turned to Loki, smiling benevolently. "So, who is your favorite?"

"Probably Oscar the Grouch. They're so much alike," Stark said with a sly smile. Loki laughed without humor. "Oscar is just misunderstood. If you cared to get to know him, you would see that. But you're too busy staring at your reflection in your suit, you'll never truly know anyone. I think you're most like Miss Piggy. Snotty little princess." 

"And you two," he pointed at Steve and Bucky, "are most like Bert and Ernie. You're obviously in love with each other, but neither of you will admit it, so you just fight and fight. Why not fuck and get it over with?"

Steve blushed deep crimson even though no one dared look in their direction. Loki was right; everyone knew. What was so infuriating was the fact that Loki seemed to know _everything_ about a person without even trying. Steve had realized that Loki knew about his feelings for Bucky months ago when Loki began to make subtle comments about them. He didn't know if Loki was genuinely trying to help- and failing- or if he was doing his usual  _Loki_ thing and trying to make him miserable- with absolute success.

He was relieved when he felt Bucky's hand on his shoulder.  _At least that will never change_. 

"Loki, cut it out. You're going to ruin everyone's Thanksgiving. We're here to feast!" Thor boomed.

"Ehehehe... Do you know why I loathe Elmo? Because he's _almost_ as annoying as you,  _brother_."

Thor would have been hurt by Loki's comment, but he had seen this type of behavior before. Loki felt like he was being attacked, so he pulled out even bigger weapons; his words, and started his defense. Unfortunately, Loki's defense could get extremely messy. He figured the best tactic was to change course completely. 

"Alright, then. Natasha, what can I do to assist you in the kitchen?" 

 

 

 Loki had been hiding in his room for several hours when Bruce knocked on the door. He could tell who it was by the characteristic sound; not intrusive like Thor, not dainty like Natasha, not bombastic like Stark. Just a nice, polite tap. Loki liked Bruce. He really did. Bruce was one of the only people in the tower that would speak to him like an equal. And Loki already knew why he had come. 

"Come in, Dr. Banner." 

"How do you always know who it is? Do you guys have x-ray vision or something? I won't tell."

"I know because of your knock. It is always the same."

"Loki, I didn't mean to start something out there. And I know I've apologized to you for those...experiments before, but-" 

"You have, and I already accepted your apology.  _That_ , out there? That was not your fault. Those imbeciles jump on any opportunity to humiliate me. Will they  _never_ stop?" 

Bruce still felt as if he had brought this down on Loki, and even though Loki had made some mistakes, he didn't deserve the treatment he received from some members of the team. 

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think Steve and Bucky actually took your advice. They disappeared a few minutes after you did, and haven't been seen since." 

"Thank the Norns. They both need it far more than I do at this point." 

Bruce left Loki's room laughing, and several people stopped to ask him what was so funny, but he wouldn't say. 

 

 

"Dinner is served, guys," Natasha said proudly as she set the last serving dish on the table.

Thor was the first to arrive at the table, not bothering to wait on anyone else to start eating. Loki caught his eye and clucked his tongue disapprovingly, but instead of fighting back, Thor pulled out a chair next to his. Loki begrudgingly took the offer. 

Tony had been drinking for the last two hours, so he tripped into the room carrying a tumbler of whiskey, singing to himself. It seemed he had already forgotten the squabble from earlier because he offered Loki a glass. "I suppose you'll have that drink now?" "Ehehehe...very funny Stark. If I remember correctly, I  _did_ get a drink. I just had to find a way to swallow it with Mjolnir in the middle of my chest. You should give that a try sometime." 

Tony was  _just_ tipsy enough to take the challenge. "Thor! Bring out the hammer."

Loki smirked, enjoying the show. Then he spent fifteen minutes begging Thor to leave Tony on the floor for the rest of the evening- to no avail. 

 

Halfway through dinner, Steve and Bucky finally made their way out to join everyone else- five minutes apart, each with their hair a bit tousled and slightly goofy grins on their faces. 

"Well, it's about time you guys fu--" Natasha glared at Loki and he quickly chose a different word, "found your way back in here. We thought you'd gotten lost."

Bruce started chuckling, and couldn't manage to stop. Soon, the entire table had erupted into raucous laughter. Seeing everyone together and happy, Bucky grasped Steve's hand. 

"Yeah. It's about time." 

Everyone smiled, then quickly looked to Fury for his reaction. He just shook his head, muttered something about _"my whole team fucking each other_ ," and went back to his dinner. 

 

 

"Hey guys...there's a replay of the Macy's parade on TV," Natasha called from the living room. 

"Turn it up! I'm not finished eating," Thor yelled back, his mouth full of stuffing. 

 

Everyone paused mid-bite to listen to the announcer, who sounded mildly distressed: 

 

 _And it looks like there's been a problem with Big Bird. He stands twenty feet tall, and requires at least thirty carriers. Oh no! Big Bird is DOWN!_  

 

"I  _knew_ it! We are eating Big Bird! You guys killed Big Bird!  _Earth's Mightiest Heroes_ indeed," Loki yelled, laughing. 

 


End file.
